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10. There are two sides to every divorce, his and the shithead bitch's - opps I mean witch's.11. I love being married, it's so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.12. I am a nobody and nobody is perfect, therefore, I am perfect.13. Every day I beat my own previous record for number of consecutive days I've stayed alive.14. How come we choose from just two people to run for president and 50 for Miss America???15. Having a smoking section in a restaurant like having a peeing section in a swimming pool.16. Why is it that most nudists are people you don't want to see naked.17. Snowmen fall from Heaven unassembled.18. Every time I walk into a singles bar I can hear Mom's wise words, "Don't pick that up, you don't know where it's been."19. A good friend will come and bail you out of jail, a true friend will be sitting next to you saying, "Damn, that was fun."These are compliments of DorsetmikeIn the convent a young girl has just reached the end. “Yes, he must be in her bum hole,” Anthony said, “it’s a shame there’s no sound.”“There will be next time,” Paul replied, “l’ve bought better cameras. I wonder what it feels like to put your cock in a girl’s bottom.”“It’s tight,” Anthony said, “l’ve done it twice with Aunt Mary, it’s much tighter than her cunt, she doesn’t like it much but l told her l would tell my Mum about her if she didn’t let me do it, it always looks good fun on the porn sites.”“Why don’t you let me do it with your Aunt?” Paul said.“No, you have to do it with your mother, that’s the best way.”“Watch this,” Paul said as they watched his father giving one last lunge into his mother. They could see his muscles tightening as he was cumming.“That’s good,” Anthony said, “shame we can’t see or hear her though to see if she’s having an orgasm.”They watched as Paul’s Dad finally finished, rolling off his mother onto his back.“There,” Anthony said, hitting the pause key, “look at how her bum hole is still gaping, you can.
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